‘Money is the biggest cause of friction in a Marriage’ – David Woods
One could almost call money a marriage destroyer as it ranks as one of the top three reasons people get divorced, according to a survey of Certified Divorce Financial Analyst professionals from across North America. It means that money in marriage is something you want to pay close attention to, before it becomes a crime of passion and a matter for the police!
Many of us would AVOID addressing the issues, and instead stick to our expectations of ‘how it should be’. But this was more dangerous than helpful often times. So here are 15 lessons (and counting) about money in marriage:
1. How you both address the issue of money is likely to be different. It might be unrealistic to expect your wife or husband to behave exactly like you do, when it comes to how to handle money. This is often the first and biggest cause for conflict.
2. Few people learn about money from home, at school or at work. You and your spouse can help make better money decisions if both of you make an effort to be financially literate.
3. Know and study your spouse’s money behaviour so you can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. No one person is perfect with money.
4. There is often a win-win solution when it comes to money. It is easier to find win-win situations when you think of each other and not yourself. Sometimes you might need to compromise on the battle today to win the war on divorce/separation tomorrow. Learn how to agree to disagree without it, costing your relationship.
5. Hiding your income from your spouse oftentimes might ‘protect’ you but it can also cause distrust and other problems that threaten the peace of your marriage.
6. It can be very helpful to plan together than to plan separately, even if it is for the family and for the future. When two agree, your effort is raised to the power of 10!
7. You or your spouse will each have a dream that comes at a cost; it is important to work together to support each other’s dream and address the financial cost of that dream, to the family.
8. With money, it is ideal to have family money and personal money. Joint accounts are great, but we also need personal accounts as much as possible.
9. Decide what method of allocating money works best for you and your spouse, and not necessarily what you saw your parents or friends do. Couples are different.
10. Money is serious but do not take it too seriously, so it does not cost you your family. The pursuit of money has cost many people their family.
11. Do not avoid addressing the big money issue but doing this can take wisdom for both men and women.
12. It is important to share with your spouse before you take on any debt or loan.
13. Without effectively learning how to communicate about money without aggression, blaming or emotional bullying, you could be dangerously close to joining the statistics on divorce.
14. Life is not just for saving and investing, neither is it just for spending and enjoying. It is for all of the above. You just have the find the right balance that works for your family.
15. Learn about investing and start investing. Start investing in your budget. Get the free budget template and ‘How-to’ video here.
Which of the above resonates with you? Please share in the comments